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Dec. 19th, 2008

I'm losing myself in a really good book today
I am legend
thank you Noelia

although productivity in the house is..
completely non-existent today
tomorrow i have a lot to do,
clean out the closets
sort through what I want to keep
bring the chirstmas stuff upstairs
do homework
I Hate my cell phone.
God... I'm so tired.
why am I so tired lately?
lack of sleep?
am I sick?
all of the above?
maybe I'm getting old.

this is fitting:
Quote of the Day - Stanislaw Lec - "Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art."

very soon.. instead of being awoken by a phone call..
i'll be awoken by Noelia in person.
and then for the rest of our lives..
we get to wake each other up at will.


i don't know what it is..
but when winter comes 'round
i never want to get out of bed..
im always so tired..
so groggy..
so slow to rise
thank God for Noelia..
she knows how to wake me up..

"My Sihaya"

Today I woke to your sweet, loving voice
day dreaming and fantasizing about making love to you again.
today will be a day of great ambition and even greater purpose
preparing the way for my love to come home to me.

after I told you that I loved you and hung up the phone,
i lay quietly in bed, unable to sleep.
So I awoke, ate my breakfast and made some coffee.
I sat down to finish my book, in my beloved Dune saga..
Sandworms of Dune
A story that i love and cherish almost as much as I love and cherish you, Noelia.

I know, without a shadow of a doubt in my mind..
that you are my true love, my soul mate, my everything..
for in all things that I love, they in some way remind me of you.

I would like to read (write) a passage from the last page of the book,
and entire series of books to you.
It is of Paul and Chani, the two loves of the first book Dune
the two that were meant to be.. forever

"..He watched her glide forward gracefully, her red hair blowing behind
her. Chani sang the walking song of lovers on the sand, her words lilting
beautifully and in a stutter rhythm, like the cadence of her feet:

Tell me of thine eyes
And I will tell thee of thy heart.
Tell me of thy feet
And I will tell thee of thy hands.
Tell me of thy sleeping
And I will tell thee of thy waking.
Tell me of thy desires
And I will tell thee of thy need.

When they were half way back to the rocks, the wind picked up.
Blowing sand stung their faces. Paul held onto Chani, doing his best to
shelter her with his own body against the abrasive wind.
"Yes, a fine storm is brewing," she said, as they finally reached the
sietch entrance and hurried inside. "A cleansing one." In the low light
of a glowglobe, exhilaration flushed her features.
Catching her by the arm, Paul spun her around and wiped sand
from around her eyes and mouth. Then he drew her close and kissed
her. Chani seemed to melt into his arms, laughing. "So you have finally
learned how to treat your wife!"
"My Sihaya," he said as he held her, "I have loved you for five thousand

you are my sihaya (desert oasis/eternal love..), Noelia. in all things we are one, forever.

and now i have much to do today.

Dec. 4th, 2008

noelia inspires me so much
to be more confident
more proud
to be a better man
to be a better human being
to be a better husband
and she doesnt even try
she just does

i am the luckiest man alive


i heard this song on the way home..
and i couldn't help but smile :D

Grand Funk Railroad
"She's some kind of wonderful..."

I dont need a whole lots of money,
I dont need a big fine car.
I got everything that a man could want,
I got more than I could ask for.
I dont have to run around,
I dont have to stay out all night.
cause I got me a sweet ... a sweet, lovin woman,
And she knows just how to treat me right.

Well my baby, shes alright,
Well my baby, shes clean out-of-sight.
Dont you know that shes ... shes some kind of wonderful.
Shes some kind of wonderful ... yes she is, shes,
Shes some kind of wonderful, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahhh ...

When I hold her in my arms,
You know she sets my soul on fire.
Oooh, when my baby kisses me,
My heart becomes filled with desire.
When she wraps her lovin arms around me,
About drives me out of my mind.
Yeah, when my baby kisses me,
Chills run up and down my spine.

My baby, shes alright,
My baby, shes clean out-of-sight.
Dont you know that she is ... shes some kind of wonderful.
Shes some kind of wonderful ... yes she is,
Shes some kind of wonderful, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahhh ...

Now is there anybody, got a sweet little woman like mine?
There got to be somebody, got a, got a sweet little woman like mine? yeah!
Can I get a witness?
Can I get a witness?
Can I get a witness? yeah ...
Can I get a witness? ohhh ...
Can I get a witness? yeah ...
Can I get a witness? yes.

Im talkin, talkin bout my baby. yeah.
Shes some kind of wonderful.
Talkin bout my baby.
Shes some kind of wonderful.
Talkin bout my baby.
Shes some kind of wonderful.
Im talkin bout my baby, my baby, my baby.
Shes some kind of wonderful.
Im talkin about my baby, my baby, my baby.
Shes some kind of wonderful.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ... my baby, my baby.
Shes some kind of wonderful.
Talkin bout my baby, my baby, my baby.
Shes some kind of wonderful.
Im talkin bout my baby, my baby, my baby.
Shes some kind of wonderful.
(repeat to fade)


i dearly love my loving wife
before her, in my back i had knife
a meaningless existence filled with strife
she pulled out the dagger and completed my life

she brings the intangible aspect of love
an intangible that has been made tangible.
I can see, hear and feel the love through..
her thoughts, words and actions.
no one has cared for me so much before
(excluding family of course)
no one has taken the time to appreciate me
even when im not being as romantic as I could be..
there is this quality there that touches my soul.
it makes my heart flutter, i get that..
butterfly'ish feeling in my stomach every time she calls
or I see her smile in person
not butterflies in the bad way..
but the loving, unexplainable giddy happy kind of way
after all of my failures with women never appreciating me..
for who i am, in the ways that i show and express my love
and never having that reciprocated.. she does.
she expresses it back to me, encourages it from me.
sometimes I dont always know how to express it..
but to know that feeling is there, from her and I speaks volumes
ive never been so madly in love, so deeply and completely before..
it makes me speechless that she accepts me and my love so openly
and wraps it back around my heart with her love.
from the day that I met her the voice in my heart, mind and soul spoke to me again.
like little nudges from God saying "here she is michael, just like i promised you..
you can have your soul mate back now"
its, not been an easy feet for me to describe to her, or to anyone.
i just know.. my love for her simply.. is and grows. like the sunrise.
its just there, there is no need to explain why its there, its just there.

it means so much to me for her to show me so much love and appreciation.
ive felt like all of my life, no one really cared about me.. they were all fake.
and I could always tell. Things that I did to be romantic.. or to express how i felt..
were brushed off like snow, left unappreciated.. and parts of me died when they did that to me
noelia has never done that. I can see the smile on her face through the phone,
i can hear the tears welling up in her eyes.
i love the fact that she appreciates it.

my friends mock me because I'm always smiling when im chatting with her, or talking to her.
i blather on endlessly about her to them and my family. they can see how much she means to me
by looking at the sparkle in my eye. How excited I get when I tell them that i get to see her..
she makes me so happy.

i know im not perfect, i need lots of work in lots of area of self-improvement.
having been hurt by so many women for so many different reasons has caused me to..
stay in my shell when what i want to say or express is right on the tip of my tongue.
sometimes i get scared to say it because i fear the rejection.
the funny thing is i know that's not what noelia is like. i know she loves to hear it,
wants to hear it, craves to hear it. slowly im allowing myself to be myself again, to open up
and tell her how she makes me feel. That also makes me love her deeply, that she is trying to allow me to be myself, she encourages it and lets me open to her and not be afraid. she is not my past, sometimes i struggle with that past rejection. i appreciate her patience in me.
i love her madly
bath time for Sirius
hes wet
and so is the couch

what a spaz. its always crazy giving him a bath.
I say "Sirius.. bath time" and he runs into the bathroom
hops in the tub
and has a big smile on his face.
he gets a bath and is very good about it the whole time.
i finish washing him off
towel dry him

and then crazy pup is unleashed
running around the house
like a greyhound
hopping on the furniture
smearing his body everywhere
hopping on the bed..
"Sirius get down"
Sirius: "errr humphhh" *run..*

such a spaz
i love him.

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